Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

“We’re not as young as we used to be.”-Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)

The line above is the line that sums up the newest attempt at revival of a series, Indiana Jones and the Kingom of the Crystal Skull. This movie was a very interesting attempt at making Harrison Ford seem like a young guy with gray hair as he gets knocked down and gets up again…many times.

The movie starts out on a good note, as the original titles, with the new names of course, roll over the backdrop of a desert. Elvis Presley’s “Hounddog” plays over a car of teenagers racing a US Army car. The Army car splits and drives towards a compound for testing nuclear bombs. Immediately we assume it is the 50s with the scare of Reds and A-bombs (the appearance of the lay over “Nevada 1957″ helps us with that)/ We soon realize that those in the car are Russians, led by Irina Spalko (an accented, wigged Cate Blanchett). Hidden in the trunk of the car are a guy named Mac (a great Ray Winstone) and a mysterious guy. We first see his silouhette against the side of the vehicle as he picks up his fedora. And we get the first glimpse of Indiana Jones (a gray-haird Harrison Ford). Throughout the movie, Indiana survives many things, including a million Russians shooting at him as he steals a whip and flys over them in a warehouse which Raiders of the Lost Ark fans will recognize immediately (I laughed when the camera shows a part of the Ark in the warehouse), a nuclear bomb test from which Indiana hides in a refrigerator that gets blown a couple miles and comes out without so much as a speck of dust on him, and falling down three waterfalls in a metal car and still fresh enough to get back in the car after every drop. Along the way he meets a greaser named Mutt Williams (Transformers star Shia LaBeouf) and his old girl Marion Ravenwood (a real old Karen Allen) in a process to save a crystal skull that holds mystical powers from a group of Commies.

Before I tell you about the poor things in this movie, I’ll tell you the bright spots.

  • Labeouf: Shia’s new character is the brightest part of this movie. Despite being a greaser reminiscent of a non-singing, non-smoking John Travolta in Grease, he is a smart kid who dropped out of school, two things Travolta’s Danny wasn’t. His well-timed combing moments are funny. Attempts to live like an adult are stopped by Indy. Mutt ends up being a sidekick to Indy, though. The greatest scene comes at the end, which I won’t let you in on.Before the end though, while being chased by human-eating fire ants and angry Russians, he sword-fights (new in Indiana Jones movies) and tree-swings to living.
  • Winstone: Ray Winstone (known as the titular character in Beowulf) is an excellent sidekick like Marcus Brody with a twist. Winstone certainly finds a place in Indiana Jones lore as a character who we don’t know trusts more.
  • Special FX Dept.: The movie’s special FX make it seem almost believeable. Very well done.
  • Script: Lines like I mentioned in the beginning of the review flow like water and are appropriate.
Now for the bad things.
  • Special FX Dept.: I know you saw this in the good things, but they take away so much from the movie.
  • Age: Harrison Ford and Karen Allen grew a lot in age. Allen’s Marion Ravenwood seems to have gained 30 years. It is also unbelievable that he can still do all that stuff with that whip.
  • Reality: This is the biggest downfall of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I won’t reveal anything important, but the plot’s objects and characters and events and situations (that’s a lot of ands) make this installment of Indiana Jones seem less real than the original trilogy. There were things in the original movies that seemed impossible to happen (i.e. the guys’ faces melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Donovan growing old in a matter of seconds in The Last Crusade) but we accept them as part of the story, as lore. The things in this movie take away from its realism factor more than the other movies.

Other than the reality factor, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is great fun. But I came away disappointed, saying, “The great special effects ruined this movie.”

Ranking: B